Pros and Cons of Three Life Choices: Which Choice Are You Gonna Make?

Pros and Cons of Three Life Choices: Which Choice Are You Gonna Make?

When something is bothering you, you have three choices:

  1. Let it go.
  2. Do something about it.
  3. Stew over it.

Each has its pros and cons. And here’s what I think those are.

Let it go.

  • Pros: Oh, it feels so good. If you TRULY let it go. You have to think about it and put it through the “does it really matter” test. Often things bother us just because of our state of mind at the time. Maybe it won’t bother you so much after a good night’s sleep.
  • Cons: You might think you let it go, while really you just shoved it deep down, only for it to emerge stronger and uglier at another time. Then, everybody’s in trouble. Be very careful.

Do something about it.

  • Pros: Standing up for yourself is a good trait. Looking in the mirror and fixing what you don’t like will help you grow. Trying to change an injustice is what this world needs. Action moves us forward and teaches us valuable lessons from past mistakes.
  • Cons: You’ve got to think long and hard about your action. If it involves someone else, you could easily be dumping your crap in their lap. If it was your problem in the first place, maybe you should keep it that way. Also, you have to be careful that your action doesn’t make the situation worse or cause a whole new problem. I’m thinking specifically of public protests that turn violent and harmful or even deadly.

Stew over it.

  • Pros: None.
  • Cons: The definition of stew is great anxiety or agitation. I think you see the cons here.

It takes years of practice and lots of bothersome situations to figure out your best choice in each situation. Who knows if anybody ever figures it out. But if you spend your life trying to figure it out, you are ahead of the game. Lots of people choose number three automatically. Try not be one of those people.

And maybe, just maybe, think long and hard about number two, as well.

Do no harm.

 

 

Five Things You Might Feel When Life Sucks and What To Do About It

Five Things You Might Feel When Life Sucks and What To Do About It

*****Warning – Profanity*****

It doesn’t matter what it is. Maybe you’re incredibly stressed out. Maybe you keep fighting with your spouse. Maybe your children are behaving horribly. Maybe your laundry is piled up like a damn pyramid. Maybe someone you care about is dying. Maybe you’ve just had it up to here with the pressure of being who you are.

Whatever it is…life pretty much sucks right now. But on top of the sucking, you also have to feel these five things. And you are ready to fucking lose it.

  1. Loneliness – you feel completely alone, that you are the only one who can or cares to fix any of this; if you don’t do it, nobody will; you want to just crawl under a damn rock, but then everything would probably get worse
  2. Isolation – might seem like the same as loneliness, but it’s not; it’s that feeling that everybody thinks you have the plague; maybe you’ve bitched one too many times; maybe you cry too much; maybe nobody wants to play with your kid anymore and maybe the parents don’t want your kid around theirs; maybe you’ve just been a little too much YOU and nobody can take it anymore. Hell, YOU can’t take you anymore!!
  3. Irritability – you’re right at the edge all the fucking time; the tiniest thing will send you over; somebody questions you, looks at you funny, or God forbid, criticizes you – – – forget it. That shit won’t fly. Don’t they realize how close you are to breaking every dish in that cabinet? Leave me the hell alone.
  4. Depression – it’s just really damn sad that life has to suck right now. You didn’t do anything to deserve it. In fact, you thought you were doing the complete opposite; being a good person, helping others, waking with a positive attitude, being a better person than you were the day before. A whole lot of good that shit did.
  5. Anger – This mother fucking shit is just about all I can take and the next asshole who does anything to make it worse will have a fucking bloody nose.

What do you do about it?

You say, fuck it.

You feel it. You own it. Then you take care of you.

You are the only one who will.

God Gave Me THE FEELS

God Gave Me THE FEELS…

God

You can tell me to build a thick skin. You can tell me it’s no big deal. You can even tell me to lighten up. But if you tell me I’m too sensitive, you’ll have an argument on your hands. 

Many years ago, I was built a certain way. God gave me the feels. That includes, but is not limited to the following:

sensitivity, emotion, passion, sympathy, empathy, thin skin, fear of the unknown, depression, anxiety, and unconditional love. 

And now imagine all of that swirling around in my body at any given moment. It could be a good moment in which all of those things serve me well. The feels do their job and life is good. 

But the swirling can also occur when the moment is not so good. It could be an argument, a strange place, a difficult person, or even something as simple as a paper cut under certain circumstances. 

When the feels emerge here, the consequences are disturbing and unavoidable. This is when physical reactions are added to the mix:

rapid heart beat, chest tightness, sweaty palms, shaking hands, uncontrollable tears, shortness of breath, and stomach knots.

It’s not pretty, it doesn’t feel good, and it doesn’t even stop there. For days, those reactions manifest themselves into tension, stomach and head aches, indigestion, insomnia, and sometimes, panic attacks.

As much as I’ve learned, as strong as I’ve become, and for each and every hardship I’ve survived, I was still built the same way. With the feels.

So, yes, I’ll do my best to put my big girl pants on every day and ride the storms that evolve around me. But I can’t ever change the way I feel about it. And you’d be wise not to ask me to.

God gave me the feels. And I like what God gave me.

God

Promise to tell the truth, the whole truth…

Promise to tell the truth…

promise

 

Quite often, at the end of my yoga class, I recite the Namaste prayer. It includes a line that says:

“I honor you in the place of love, light, peace, and truth.”

Love, I understand. Light…got it. Peace – no problem.

It’s truth that gets me every time. What is truth? Who’s truth are you referring to? Isn’t truth relative? Doesn’t it depend on your perspective? No matter what you say is absolutely true, someone will come up with a reason that it’s not. Nothing is always true, in every situation, according to every person.

Well, the truth was put to the test in a big way in my life the other day. I was involved in a minor car accident. There were no injuries. The damage to my car is fairly significant. The damage to his car is barely noticeable. From the outside, not that big of a deal. Then, why does my stomach tighten every time I think about it?

Because the guy who hit me LIED. A lot.

He backed out of a parking space and hit me broadside. I didn’t even see what had happened. I just felt and heard the impact. It wasn’t until I stopped the car and got out that the story began to unfold in a disturbing way.

He immediately began yelling and flailing his arms, blaming ME for hitting him. I engaged in this ridiculous exchange until he got even more agitated, throwing F bombs, and then I did the smart thing and got back in my car, locked the doors, and called the police. On top of being in disbelief that he was actually blaming me, I was afraid of the guy, who, by the way, had his little girl with him.

But here’s the kicker. This guy lied so beautifully that he had the cop convinced that it was my fault. So cop #1 had to call in cop #2 to help him make the decision. It was truly unbelievable. An hour later, they called in their sargeant to make the decision.

After talking to cop 1 and 2, he stated the obvious. I had the right of way. He hit me and was charged with improper backing. Hallelujah!

Almost two weeks later, this is what I say about truth.

Truth feels right. Truth comes out easily. Truth isn’t agitating. Truth happens quickly, with no argument. Truth is easy to identify. Truth is calming. Somebody always knows the truth.

Truth wins.

Just tell the truth. It’s so much easier.