God Gave Me THE FEELS

God Gave Me THE FEELS…

God

You can tell me to build a thick skin. You can tell me it’s no big deal. You can even tell me to lighten up. But if you tell me I’m too sensitive, you’ll have an argument on your hands. 

Many years ago, I was built a certain way. God gave me the feels. That includes, but is not limited to the following:

sensitivity, emotion, passion, sympathy, empathy, thin skin, fear of the unknown, depression, anxiety, and unconditional love. 

And now imagine all of that swirling around in my body at any given moment. It could be a good moment in which all of those things serve me well. The feels do their job and life is good. 

But the swirling can also occur when the moment is not so good. It could be an argument, a strange place, a difficult person, or even something as simple as a paper cut under certain circumstances. 

When the feels emerge here, the consequences are disturbing and unavoidable. This is when physical reactions are added to the mix:

rapid heart beat, chest tightness, sweaty palms, shaking hands, uncontrollable tears, shortness of breath, and stomach knots.

It’s not pretty, it doesn’t feel good, and it doesn’t even stop there. For days, those reactions manifest themselves into tension, stomach and head aches, indigestion, insomnia, and sometimes, panic attacks.

As much as I’ve learned, as strong as I’ve become, and for each and every hardship I’ve survived, I was still built the same way. With the feels.

So, yes, I’ll do my best to put my big girl pants on every day and ride the storms that evolve around me. But I can’t ever change the way I feel about it. And you’d be wise not to ask me to.

God gave me the feels. And I like what God gave me.

God

Promise to tell the truth, the whole truth…

Promise to tell the truth…

promise

 

Quite often, at the end of my yoga class, I recite the Namaste prayer. It includes a line that says:

“I honor you in the place of love, light, peace, and truth.”

Love, I understand. Light…got it. Peace – no problem.

It’s truth that gets me every time. What is truth? Who’s truth are you referring to? Isn’t truth relative? Doesn’t it depend on your perspective? No matter what you say is absolutely true, someone will come up with a reason that it’s not. Nothing is always true, in every situation, according to every person.

Well, the truth was put to the test in a big way in my life the other day. I was involved in a minor car accident. There were no injuries. The damage to my car is fairly significant. The damage to his car is barely noticeable. From the outside, not that big of a deal. Then, why does my stomach tighten every time I think about it?

Because the guy who hit me LIED. A lot.

He backed out of a parking space and hit me broadside. I didn’t even see what had happened. I just felt and heard the impact. It wasn’t until I stopped the car and got out that the story began to unfold in a disturbing way.

He immediately began yelling and flailing his arms, blaming ME for hitting him. I engaged in this ridiculous exchange until he got even more agitated, throwing F bombs, and then I did the smart thing and got back in my car, locked the doors, and called the police. On top of being in disbelief that he was actually blaming me, I was afraid of the guy, who, by the way, had his little girl with him.

But here’s the kicker. This guy lied so beautifully that he had the cop convinced that it was my fault. So cop #1 had to call in cop #2 to help him make the decision. It was truly unbelievable. An hour later, they called in their sargeant to make the decision.

After talking to cop 1 and 2, he stated the obvious. I had the right of way. He hit me and was charged with improper backing. Hallelujah!

Almost two weeks later, this is what I say about truth.

Truth feels right. Truth comes out easily. Truth isn’t agitating. Truth happens quickly, with no argument. Truth is easy to identify. Truth is calming. Somebody always knows the truth.

Truth wins.

Just tell the truth. It’s so much easier.