Birthdays, Nightmares, and Love

Birthdays are so interesting. At least they are to me. It’s sad as we get older that they get less and less important. That won’t happen with me. No sir. If I can get ONE day to do whatever I want, no questions asked, you better believe I’m gonna take it.

This year, I choose to reflect. This past year can’t easily be labeled.  On this day in 2017, I was celebrating my 50th birthday. Not in the fashion I had hoped. My family was in the quiet farm town of Ottawa, IL preparing for my father’s first surgery. My husband and daughter were getting ready to travel back home while I stayed to help out. It was no big deal. We thought.

A few weeks after this milestone birthday, our family experienced the nightmare of a lifetime. My father…strong, healthy, funny, intelligent, witty, active, generous, efficient, handsome, and dearly loved…was reduced to a shell of a person. And it turned our world upside down.

Over the past year we have experienced fear, anger, frustration, hospitals, doctors, nurses, surgeries, rehab, lawyers, expenses, arguments, sleepless nights, confusion, paranoia, messes, relocation, tears, lies, cover-ups, CYAs, panic attacks, depression, hopelessness, grief, disagreements, and separation. All horrible. All unfair. All unbelievable.

But here’s what I reflect on today:

  • The time the doctor asked my Dad who the President was, and he said, “I’d rather not talk about it.”
  • The two RNs and one PA who were always there when we needed them, were honest with us, KNEW my Dad before this, and said, “What in the hell happened to your Dad?” (They understood our shock and disbelief.)
  • All of the medical staff here and in Illinois who have helped my father return to a new version of himself, still all that he was, just taking a little more time to get there.
  • The privilege of welcoming my parents into my home to rest, recover, and be loved by a daughter who owes them her life, a son-in-law who has a heart of gold, and a grand daughter who will always know what family means.
  • My friends who were curious, shocked, supportive, forgiving, helpful, patient, loving, and here. Just here.
  • And no matter what the hospital does or who takes responsibility for what happened or whether this could be a legal case….I really don’t care. All of that will be taken care of by the all mighty spirit that knows ALL of the answers and how to work things out.

What I really care about is the here, the now, and that everybody feels loved. Everything comes from love. There is no other source.

It’s my birthday. I feel loved.

I hope you do too.

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The Anatomy of Birthdays and Heart Surgery

The Anatomy of Birthdays and Heart Surgery…

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He turns 86 today. She turns 50 in 10 days. He is awaiting heart surgery. She has a plane ticket to Chicago to celebrate her birthday. He wants to get this over with. She wants him to be okay. He doesn’t want to miss or disturb her birthday plans. She says that he is the priority and birthdays can be celebrated any time. He has always insisted that birthdays be celebrated ON THE DAY. She agrees.

This is one of those times when living in the present can really help. They know very little about what’s going to happen, yet they would like to do things as planned. They don’t want to have to change their plans, but of course, they will. It’s his heart after all.

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If they live in the present, none of this matters.

He is important to her. She loves him. He’s been there for her a countless number of times. She will be there for him. She will be present.

Bottom line…she wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him. He trumps her.

Take care of HIM. Period.

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Sharing My World with Cee and Friends

Share Your World – January 9, 2017

Sharing My World with Cee and Friends…

If you lost a bet and had to dye your hair a color of the rainbow for a week, what color would it be?

That would be purple, of course. Purple has been my favorite color for almost my entire life. It was pink when I was very little but I must have instinctively known how much purple would fit my personality and lifestyle. 

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From Sensational Color:

HOW THE COLOR PURPLE AFFECTS US PHYSICALLY

  • Uplifts
  • Calms the mind and nerves
  • Offers a sense of spirituality
  • Encourages creativity

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If you could choose one word to focus on for 2017, what would it be?

ABUNDANCE

This year, I am hoping for abundance in all sorts of things. Yoga, laughter, joy, peace, money, parties, success, love, health, travel, and celebrations. In February, my daughter turns five. In July, I turn 50. We plan on celebrating all year long!

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What was one thing you learned last year that you added to your life?

I learned to defend myself in a calm, rational way. It’s a work in progress and I need a lot of practice, but the skill has definitely improved. Bring it on!

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If life was ‘just a bowl of cherries’… which fruit other than a cherry would you be..?

I would be an apple. Crisp, yet sweet. Tough core. Polished to a shimmer when necessary.

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