God Gave Me THE FEELS…
You can tell me to build a thick skin. You can tell me it’s no big deal. You can even tell me to lighten up. But if you tell me I’m too sensitive, you’ll have an argument on your hands.
Many years ago, I was built a certain way. God gave me the feels. That includes, but is not limited to the following:
sensitivity, emotion, passion, sympathy, empathy, thin skin, fear of the unknown, depression, anxiety, and unconditional love.
And now imagine all of that swirling around in my body at any given moment. It could be a good moment in which all of those things serve me well. The feels do their job and life is good.
But the swirling can also occur when the moment is not so good. It could be an argument, a strange place, a difficult person, or even something as simple as a paper cut under certain circumstances.
When the feels emerge here, the consequences are disturbing and unavoidable. This is when physical reactions are added to the mix:
rapid heart beat, chest tightness, sweaty palms, shaking hands, uncontrollable tears, shortness of breath, and stomach knots.
It’s not pretty, it doesn’t feel good, and it doesn’t even stop there. For days, those reactions manifest themselves into tension, stomach and head aches, indigestion, insomnia, and sometimes, panic attacks.
As much as I’ve learned, as strong as I’ve become, and for each and every hardship I’ve survived, I was still built the same way. With the feels.
So, yes, I’ll do my best to put my big girl pants on every day and ride the storms that evolve around me. But I can’t ever change the way I feel about it. And you’d be wise not to ask me to.
God gave me the feels. And I like what God gave me.